The One Where I turned 21 !

So I’m pretty sure that every one dreams of their 21st birthdays, the way little girls dream of their sweet sixteen’s and weddings. Well my 21st birthday was nothing short of special and I owe it all to my Howard friends and my loving family.

I woke up slightly woozy from the night before that I had spent with my sister and her friends.         giphy (8)

Y’all should be old enough to know what that means by now. On November 10th at around 11:00 pm I was on cloud nine having the time of my life. I was finally about to be legal, because lets face it at 18 you still can’t do much of anything. Twenty one is supposed to be a whole different experience and I couldn’t wait!! By 12:00 I was slumped but it was okay because

I woke up with stank breath and smeared makeup but I didn’t care because it was MY BIRTHDAY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I was finally 21, grownt hunty grownt! God blessed me with another year and the celebration was nothing short of amazing. My roommate took me out to brunch before the celebration, which really ended up being first dinner because we didn’t eat until like 4:30 and then we went back to my dorm to get dolled up for my fancy night of shenanigans. giphy (10)

Now anyone that knows me, is aware of the fact that I’m not really the partying type, but dress me up and feed me at an upscale restaurant and I’m yours. I love getting fancy and going out, its much more my speed. So after my roommate and I went out for first dinner and came back, Tera (my roommate from freshman year) came over and beat my face to the gods and we got ready for second dinner.

Second dinner was held at Maggiano’s which is one of my favorites because pasta is the way to my heart and soul. The dress I picked felt like the perfect style and color for the big 21.

IMG_0186

Red has always been a bold statement color and I usually steer clear of it but dammit I was turning 21 and everyone was going to notice if I had anything to do with it! For one day I had stopped crying, dusted myself off, lifted my head high and I truly felt like a princess. To make things even better, all of my friends, even the ones that can’t stand to look at each other anymore. They all came together for me and it was just too cute.

Anyway, my ensemble was a step up from your basic fit. I wore a red bodycon dress that had a giant ruffle/pleat going across the top, all the way around to the back. The zipper stretched all the way from the top of the dress to the bottom which added something special to it. I wore lace-up black heels borrowed from my sister, and vintage leather jacket with a very nice fur collar from my momma. My friends even bought me a crown to wear all night because I’m just that extra of a person.

If you know me, you know that birthdays mean everything to me, from who says is first to who says it last to who I get to celebrate it with. My birthday was one of the best days of 2017 that I had. At the restaurant we laughed, at good food and I ordered my first drink IMG_0188 which was absolutely terrible. It tasted like unhappiness with a little sugar around the rim. It was a calm no from me, I’d rather have a Shirley Temple with a jar of cherries piled in… Another nice part of the night was the amount of free stuff I managed to collect by the end. A nice older man gave me $10 to pay for my first drink which was just adorable, and our waiter gave me cheesecake I didn’t order in addition to my birthday cookies. The night was a success and I loved all my friends for it!

I bet y’all thought the night was over after that, nope nope nope. We stood outside while I took pictures in my fabulous fit, freezing to death of course my friends are some real ones for that. Then we all headed back to campus to go our separate ways, or so I thought! Instead when I walked in my room I was greeted with the same smiling faces I had just seen along with a gigantic cookie cake masterpiece made by my friend Sireice, two pretty bottles of wine and a bouquet of roses. IT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER! I’ve never been the girl who gets surprised by anyone so I was ecstatic that my friends went to all the trouble to make me happy on my special day. So my 21st birthday will always be one of my best memories, not because I got deathly drunk but because my friends celebrated with me “Chelsi style” and it was perfect.

Image-1 (4)

IMG_0196

Last Years Lessons, a Little Bit Late

Hello world, I’m back after another drought, hopefully the last one for a long long time. It took me  a few days, nine exactly, to decide what I was going to write for you all. I wasn’t sure whether to keep it light and happy, or to leave you with something that weighs heavy on your souls. I’ve decided to just let it all out and hope that I fall somewhere between the two.

giphy (4)

What can I possibly say about 2017? It was the best worst year of my short 21 years of life. I was happy, sad, excited, depressed, fine, heartbroken and every other emotion you can think of.  The lows outweighed the highs but that just means my brightest seasons are yet to come.  Here’s a list of things I’d like to think I learned through all my 2017 trials and triumphant tribulations.

  1. Heartbreak happens… Yes it is sad sad sad sad sad but it happens and when it does you feel like the only one who has ever gone through it. This year I experienced my first true heartbreak and let me tell you all, my body had no idea how to react. I think I cried everyday for the first three months and then off and on for three more months. I didn’t eat, or rather I couldn’t finish full meals. I’d see food and know I was hungry, but take one bite and be finished. That was the MOST sickening part of it all considering  I am a proud proud food lover. Some days I didn’t eat at all and other days I’d fill myself with useless things like candy… Since I’m usually a happy person, I don’t think my brain could tell my heart or the rest of my body what to do so on days I was crying over him, I’d cry because the unhappiness just would not stop.  But Heartbreak happens, so IF you’re a believer in real love, the happiness is always with you beneath all of the hurt and love will always find you again if you just keep loving yourself first.
  2. Never put anyone above anything. In 2017 I’ve given too many people too many chances to makes things right that they don’t even see the wrong in. I’m not just talking relationships either I mean friendships too. People seem to think I have a revolving door permanently attached to my forehead.. They talk a good game at first but a few weeks later it’s the same behavior from 2016 and I don’t have room for it in my new more positive life. It’s hard if you’re as trusting as I am, especially when you love the person but I guess we were meant to love some people from very far away.
  3. TALK IT OUT! Whatever the situation, please talk it out. I found that when I was upset the only way for me to accept it and moved on, as slowly as I did, was to talk it out with whoever I could get to listen. I think my best friend Nyiah and I talked about it all at least a hundred times and it’s the only thing that truly made me feel better. I talked so much at first to try and breath life back into things that have died away, situations that are over. To try and make sure the memories stayed alive because that was easier than letting go…Then I was talking to make sense of it all, how could someone do this to me? How could she turn her back on me? How could he leave when I needed somebody the most? Once that was all over and I realized I wouldn’t be getting answers to all of those questions, I talked to kill those thoughts. To unravel every plan I had made without God’s consent, to let go, to numb the pain, the wipe away the question marks, to feel again and to think only of myself.
  4. Self love is way harder than people act like it is. To be real with you, it’s downright difficult and I wonder why all the time. It’s easy to tell someone you love them (for me at least) whether it be a friend or a boyfriend, and it’s easy for me to show how much I do so why can’t I show myself the same love. My guess is that from the time we’re born till forever people want to make the world an amazing place by teaching you how to give and love others. Everyone forgets to mention what happens when you give your all till the very last drop. Well then your glass is empty and everyone else’s is full while you’re still out there giving out a bunch of nothing… So even though it’s hard you should take the smallest steps every single day to love yourself and fill your cup so when the time comes you can pour into someone else who needs it.
  5. HAVE FUN!!!!! Even when you feel out of control, have fun with your friends and family. The ones who are deserving of your time and effort will be there exactly when they’re supposed to. The fun doesn’t stop when people leave, because that’s really God removing them anyway. Whether or not he brings them back in your life is no deciding factor in the amount of fun you get to have without them. They have their life while you have yours and it’s up to YOU to make yours more fun each day.

giphy (5) I know that was a lot but I like to share these things as I learn them, especially if theirs anyone out there who had no idea…like me. Stay tuned for my post about the new year, and all the ways to make it a good one.

Love,

Chelsi