I can’t sleep so that’s why I’ve posted more times tonight than I have in a year. Let’s talk about self love for a few minutes. It’s a hard task, I know I’ve said this before but right now I’m smack in the middle of it. Loving yourself is HARD.
It’s sooooo much more than face masks, bubble baths, and hair and nail appointments. It’s all the stuff in between too. When you have time to spare during the day and you think negatively about something, that’s where it comes in. When you wake up in the morning and automatically think “today won’t be a good day,” that’s when it comes in. When it’s your special moment and you are thinking about anyone else but yourself that is where it comes in.
Getting over a first love to better yourself and not seek revenge is excruciatingly difficult, it’s painful and it is most certainly nonlinear. There will probably relapses where you let them in, times when you only want to talk to them, and times when you even think you’ll be back together some day. Don’t do it! LOL
Love yourself by honoring the decision you made in the beginning to remove them from your life. Most of the time, if you made the decision yourself, and you loved them as much as you did, then it was painful for you to do so. So something had to be seriously wrong, to make you think clearly enough to remove them from your life. This has been the most difficult for me. It’s been a year and some months and I’m still learning not to second guess my own decisions even though they had to be made.
People talk on social media about self love like there’s a quick fix. Like you only need a few months of it and then it all goes back to normal and you’re happy again. If you’re like me, that just won’t do.
Self love for me has been trying to rewire my brain and alter the way I think about being single, being without someone who was my best friend, and being okay with myself. Writing affirmations on sticky notes and posting them all around my room in case I need reminding that I’m amazing, and life goes on.
It’s sitting down to think about what I want to accomplish in life rather than what “he” is doing, and what I need to do to take control of my own life. My clothes have played a major role in this personal development and I’m quite proud!
It’s going out with the people that make me happy, and having good old wholesome fun. You can do all of this right from the beginning, but I don’t think it will really resonate with you until you make the conscious decision to change your ways.
It’s accepting that change is inevitable and not always good, and that whoever is supposed to be in your life at present, is. Timing is everything, I’ve seen this on multiple occasions and yet I still fought back so I could live in the past. I’m definitely still learning to deal with this bad habit but baby steps!
It’s telling yourself everyday “I love you,” in the mirror. It feels really corny and uncomfortable the first few times but you’ll start to really feel it after a while. It’s naming yourself 1st and foremost on the list of people you love whenever someone asks, and not feeling weird about it. Why not say you love yourself? Many people don’t so once you find it hold on tight.
It’s going on self dates!!!!!! They’re actually so much fun for me now, I go on walks around DC, I get myself ice cream, I dress cute for myself and not to impress anyone else. I go to the movies BY MYSELF! You read that right, me in the movies all by my lonesome and it’s so so fun. There’s no awkward arm around you, no one to talk to and interrupt the movie, which I really hate, and no one to eat all your candy.
I’m pretty sure that’s the majority of what I’ve learned so far, my purpose is always to help those struggling with things I have struggled with. We’re in this together you guys lol don’t give up!
Being single is absolutely okay! It’s more fun than I’d like to admit and sure there are times when a girl feels lonely but they fade fairly quick because I have the best best friend ever, I also have my sister Shelbi and she makes life much easier.
~If you read down this far, Love Chelsi ❤