Let’s Talk About Se…Self Love!

I can’t sleep so that’s why I’ve posted more times tonight than I have in a year. Let’s talk about self love for a few minutes. It’s a hard task, I know I’ve said this before but right now I’m smack in the middle of it. Loving yourself is HARD.

It’s sooooo much more than face masks, bubble baths, and hair and nail appointments. It’s all the stuff in between too. When you have time to spare during the day and you think negatively about something, that’s where it comes in. When you wake up in the morning and automatically think “today won’t be a good day,” that’s when it comes in. When it’s your special moment and you are thinking about anyone else but yourself that is where it comes in.

Getting over a first love to better yourself and not seek revenge is excruciatingly difficult, it’s painful and it is most certainly nonlinear. There will probably relapses where you let them in, times when you only want to talk to them, and times when you even think you’ll be back together some day. Don’t do it! LOL

Love yourself by honoring the decision you made in the beginning to remove them from your life. Most of the time, if you made the decision yourself, and you loved  them as much as you did, then it was painful for you to do so. So something had to be seriously wrong, to make you think clearly enough to remove them from your life. This has been the most difficult for me. It’s been a year and some months and I’m still learning not to second guess my own decisions even though they had to be made.

People talk on social media about self love like there’s a quick fix. Like you only need a few months of it and then it all goes back to normal and you’re happy again. If you’re like me, that just won’t do.

Self love for me has been trying to rewire my brain and alter the way I think about being single, being without someone who was my best friend, and being okay with myself. Writing affirmations on sticky notes and posting them all around my room in case I need reminding that I’m amazing, and life goes on.

It’s sitting down to think about what I want to accomplish in life rather than what “he” is doing, and what I need to do to take control of my own life. My clothes have played a major role in this personal development and I’m quite proud!

It’s going out with the people that make me happy, and having good old wholesome fun. You can do all of this right from the beginning, but I don’t think it will really resonate with you until you make the conscious decision to change your ways.

It’s accepting that change is inevitable and not always good, and that whoever is supposed to be in your life at present, is. Timing is everything, I’ve seen this on multiple occasions and yet I still fought back so I could live in the past. I’m definitely still learning to deal with this bad habit but baby steps!

It’s telling yourself everyday “I love you,” in the mirror. It feels really corny and uncomfortable the first few times but you’ll start to really feel it after a while. It’s naming yourself 1st and foremost on the list of people you love whenever someone asks, and not feeling weird about it. Why not say you love yourself? Many people don’t so once you find it hold on tight.

It’s going on self dates!!!!!! They’re actually so much fun for me now, I go on walks around DC, I get myself ice cream, I dress cute for myself and not to impress anyone else. I go to the movies BY MYSELF! You read that right, me in the movies all by my lonesome and it’s so so fun. There’s no awkward arm around you, no one to talk to and interrupt the movie, which I really hate, and no one to eat all your candy. 

I’m pretty sure that’s the majority of what I’ve learned so far, my purpose is always to help those struggling with things I have struggled with. We’re in this together you guys lol don’t give up!

Being single is absolutely okay! It’s more fun than I’d like to admit and sure there are times when a girl feels lonely but they fade fairly quick because I have the best best friend ever, I also have my sister Shelbi and she makes life much easier.

~If you read down this far, Love Chelsi ❤

That Time I was Cat Woman (kinda)

jimmy fallon hello GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon-source

Yes, it’s me, I’m back with many many things to share with you all. Let’s rewind ourselves back to January when it was still winter…OOPS ITS STILL COLD AND WINTRY so you shouldn’t have to go back too too far.

Anyways, here’s that time I was Cat Woman at the Cheesecake Factory in Maryland. I’m not sure if I had been feeling down in the dumps or not, there had been a lot of that around that time but I am better now lol. So when Nyiah (bestie /roomie/ sister) and I are bored and or hungry, which is all day everyday, we like to get cute and treat ourselves to a nice meal or two. The getting cute obviously boosts confidence and makes for an overall pleasant experience, the food is a reward for getting out of bed, leaving our darkness and putting together nice looks.

IMG_0988BAM! There it is, me serving dark Scorpio realness (see what I mean by cat woman). I bought this one piece/jumpsuit/catsuit from Fashion Nova, and I am in love with it. I feel like every woman, regardless of size or shape should own one of these at some point in her life. You can wear it with practically anything if you get it in a neutral color, and it’s super comfy!

 

IMG_0928I felt like a superSHEro wearing this, even though we only went to eat. Of course y’all know I had to get my pics because I rarely dress up for school anymore. So there I am, with my high ponytail (it’s becoming my signature style), my hoop earrings, my thigh high boots and my stretchy suit.

I’m still a bit weary of Fashion Nova’s quality, and whatnot because of a pair of jeans I received in the past year, but this is one of my favorite pieces in my closet and it wasn’t too expensive either so that’s a plus. Oh and the best part about this outfit was, after I ate, I didn’t have to unbutton my pants, or suffocate while my jeans stabbed me in my rib cage during dinner. Definitely a successful roomie date! ❤

 

 

The One Where I turned 21 !

So I’m pretty sure that every one dreams of their 21st birthdays, the way little girls dream of their sweet sixteen’s and weddings. Well my 21st birthday was nothing short of special and I owe it all to my Howard friends and my loving family.

I woke up slightly woozy from the night before that I had spent with my sister and her friends.         giphy (8)

Y’all should be old enough to know what that means by now. On November 10th at around 11:00 pm I was on cloud nine having the time of my life. I was finally about to be legal, because lets face it at 18 you still can’t do much of anything. Twenty one is supposed to be a whole different experience and I couldn’t wait!! By 12:00 I was slumped but it was okay because

I woke up with stank breath and smeared makeup but I didn’t care because it was MY BIRTHDAY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I was finally 21, grownt hunty grownt! God blessed me with another year and the celebration was nothing short of amazing. My roommate took me out to brunch before the celebration, which really ended up being first dinner because we didn’t eat until like 4:30 and then we went back to my dorm to get dolled up for my fancy night of shenanigans. giphy (10)

Now anyone that knows me, is aware of the fact that I’m not really the partying type, but dress me up and feed me at an upscale restaurant and I’m yours. I love getting fancy and going out, its much more my speed. So after my roommate and I went out for first dinner and came back, Tera (my roommate from freshman year) came over and beat my face to the gods and we got ready for second dinner.

Second dinner was held at Maggiano’s which is one of my favorites because pasta is the way to my heart and soul. The dress I picked felt like the perfect style and color for the big 21.

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Red has always been a bold statement color and I usually steer clear of it but dammit I was turning 21 and everyone was going to notice if I had anything to do with it! For one day I had stopped crying, dusted myself off, lifted my head high and I truly felt like a princess. To make things even better, all of my friends, even the ones that can’t stand to look at each other anymore. They all came together for me and it was just too cute.

Anyway, my ensemble was a step up from your basic fit. I wore a red bodycon dress that had a giant ruffle/pleat going across the top, all the way around to the back. The zipper stretched all the way from the top of the dress to the bottom which added something special to it. I wore lace-up black heels borrowed from my sister, and vintage leather jacket with a very nice fur collar from my momma. My friends even bought me a crown to wear all night because I’m just that extra of a person.

If you know me, you know that birthdays mean everything to me, from who says is first to who says it last to who I get to celebrate it with. My birthday was one of the best days of 2017 that I had. At the restaurant we laughed, at good food and I ordered my first drink IMG_0188 which was absolutely terrible. It tasted like unhappiness with a little sugar around the rim. It was a calm no from me, I’d rather have a Shirley Temple with a jar of cherries piled in… Another nice part of the night was the amount of free stuff I managed to collect by the end. A nice older man gave me $10 to pay for my first drink which was just adorable, and our waiter gave me cheesecake I didn’t order in addition to my birthday cookies. The night was a success and I loved all my friends for it!

I bet y’all thought the night was over after that, nope nope nope. We stood outside while I took pictures in my fabulous fit, freezing to death of course my friends are some real ones for that. Then we all headed back to campus to go our separate ways, or so I thought! Instead when I walked in my room I was greeted with the same smiling faces I had just seen along with a gigantic cookie cake masterpiece made by my friend Sireice, two pretty bottles of wine and a bouquet of roses. IT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER! I’ve never been the girl who gets surprised by anyone so I was ecstatic that my friends went to all the trouble to make me happy on my special day. So my 21st birthday will always be one of my best memories, not because I got deathly drunk but because my friends celebrated with me “Chelsi style” and it was perfect.

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Last Years Lessons, a Little Bit Late

Hello world, I’m back after another drought, hopefully the last one for a long long time. It took me  a few days, nine exactly, to decide what I was going to write for you all. I wasn’t sure whether to keep it light and happy, or to leave you with something that weighs heavy on your souls. I’ve decided to just let it all out and hope that I fall somewhere between the two.

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What can I possibly say about 2017? It was the best worst year of my short 21 years of life. I was happy, sad, excited, depressed, fine, heartbroken and every other emotion you can think of.  The lows outweighed the highs but that just means my brightest seasons are yet to come.  Here’s a list of things I’d like to think I learned through all my 2017 trials and triumphant tribulations.

  1. Heartbreak happens… Yes it is sad sad sad sad sad but it happens and when it does you feel like the only one who has ever gone through it. This year I experienced my first true heartbreak and let me tell you all, my body had no idea how to react. I think I cried everyday for the first three months and then off and on for three more months. I didn’t eat, or rather I couldn’t finish full meals. I’d see food and know I was hungry, but take one bite and be finished. That was the MOST sickening part of it all considering  I am a proud proud food lover. Some days I didn’t eat at all and other days I’d fill myself with useless things like candy… Since I’m usually a happy person, I don’t think my brain could tell my heart or the rest of my body what to do so on days I was crying over him, I’d cry because the unhappiness just would not stop.  But Heartbreak happens, so IF you’re a believer in real love, the happiness is always with you beneath all of the hurt and love will always find you again if you just keep loving yourself first.
  2. Never put anyone above anything. In 2017 I’ve given too many people too many chances to makes things right that they don’t even see the wrong in. I’m not just talking relationships either I mean friendships too. People seem to think I have a revolving door permanently attached to my forehead.. They talk a good game at first but a few weeks later it’s the same behavior from 2016 and I don’t have room for it in my new more positive life. It’s hard if you’re as trusting as I am, especially when you love the person but I guess we were meant to love some people from very far away.
  3. TALK IT OUT! Whatever the situation, please talk it out. I found that when I was upset the only way for me to accept it and moved on, as slowly as I did, was to talk it out with whoever I could get to listen. I think my best friend Nyiah and I talked about it all at least a hundred times and it’s the only thing that truly made me feel better. I talked so much at first to try and breath life back into things that have died away, situations that are over. To try and make sure the memories stayed alive because that was easier than letting go…Then I was talking to make sense of it all, how could someone do this to me? How could she turn her back on me? How could he leave when I needed somebody the most? Once that was all over and I realized I wouldn’t be getting answers to all of those questions, I talked to kill those thoughts. To unravel every plan I had made without God’s consent, to let go, to numb the pain, the wipe away the question marks, to feel again and to think only of myself.
  4. Self love is way harder than people act like it is. To be real with you, it’s downright difficult and I wonder why all the time. It’s easy to tell someone you love them (for me at least) whether it be a friend or a boyfriend, and it’s easy for me to show how much I do so why can’t I show myself the same love. My guess is that from the time we’re born till forever people want to make the world an amazing place by teaching you how to give and love others. Everyone forgets to mention what happens when you give your all till the very last drop. Well then your glass is empty and everyone else’s is full while you’re still out there giving out a bunch of nothing… So even though it’s hard you should take the smallest steps every single day to love yourself and fill your cup so when the time comes you can pour into someone else who needs it.
  5. HAVE FUN!!!!! Even when you feel out of control, have fun with your friends and family. The ones who are deserving of your time and effort will be there exactly when they’re supposed to. The fun doesn’t stop when people leave, because that’s really God removing them anyway. Whether or not he brings them back in your life is no deciding factor in the amount of fun you get to have without them. They have their life while you have yours and it’s up to YOU to make yours more fun each day.

giphy (5) I know that was a lot but I like to share these things as I learn them, especially if theirs anyone out there who had no idea…like me. Stay tuned for my post about the new year, and all the ways to make it a good one.

Love,

Chelsi

Stunt WITH your Growth, Don’t Stunt your Growth

I promise I’ll get better at my lack of consistent blogging one day. However exciting things are happening and I can’t wait to share them with you all! At the beginning of July I wasn’t my best self but I was on the struggle bus to unhappiness, but things are looking up, they always were. Over these few months God has shown me that He always has my best interest at heart and when He does, I always feel that its necessary to share with you.

God has removed, rearranged and reintroduced so many people into my life in these last few months its crazy. I’ve seen more inspirational posts about growth than I care to revisit in my mind. Mos of them are about cutting people off and knowing your worth, but they don’t mater until you are at a point where enough has become enough. You have to push yourself and make the move to become the happiest you for you and whoever is supposed to be around you, whoever deserves to share that happiness and feel the warmth of your sunshine will gravitate in when they’re supposed to.

  1. You mustn’t fight change. I used to hate change especially change that didn’t bring me immediate happiness. The very thought of it brings about a sadness that sometimes still lingers but I’m getting better. I saw a text post last night and it basically said that you have fall in love with change and growing, in order to progress when you feel you’ve been stuck. EMBRACE! Its way easier said than done, but I absolutely promise that when you do it you’ll feel better. You don’t have to do it all at once, it may come in waves, but you must trust that you can make yourself the happiest you. There will still be ups and downs but if you can grasp this concept it will lighten the load a bit.
  2. You ABSOLUTELY must take risks, and stop holding yourself back. For my first two years at Howard I was totally quiet and shy (I still am but in smaller doses) and was convinced that my writing wasn’t good enough to apply for internships, and my sewing wasn’t good enough to show people or get noticed. I was so so wrong. I started applying for internships in July, secured two by August and one more this week!
  3. Don’t be afraid to try things that aren’t completely on track with what you think you want to do in the future. I never thought i’d be interning for a company in the music industry. There’s always a way to expose yourself to new things while gaining experience in your own craft. I thought I had to have internships based completely on writing, and honestly those can be pretty boring… If you can connect two things that you like go for it! No regrets..
  4. Be selfish with your time, your energy, your space and your love. Don’t keep granting people access to you when they want it. One, they’ll never learn to truly value you because it seems as if you don’t value yourself. This goes for friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, partners and even family members! Yes family can be out of line too some days.

PHEW! Okay now that all of my hopefully helpful tips are out of the way here come the fun parts, unveiling my internships.

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First we have my super exciting position as a Style Guru for College Fashionista!!!! I was overjoyed when I heard back from them because as you all know (I think) the fashion world is where I hope to be in the future. Somehow I’ll make a difference in doing so and getting a foot in the door feels mighty fine. IMG_9504 SEE I’m official!

Second I’ll be interning with Live the Biz as a digital marketing intern. Yayyyyyyy for music! The entertainment industry fascinates me so I’m quite intrigued to be exposed to the culture that comes with music. Learning about new artists is always fun for me because sometimes I get tired of mainstream music, its overplayed just saying..

I know I said I had three positions, but I’d like to wait to reveal the last one it hasn’t started yet so I don’t know what I’ll be doing. Just know I’m working and growing trying to prepare myself to make the world a better place!