Let’s Talk About Se…Self Love!

I can’t sleep so that’s why I’ve posted more times tonight than I have in a year. Let’s talk about self love for a few minutes. It’s a hard task, I know I’ve said this before but right now I’m smack in the middle of it. Loving yourself is HARD.

It’s sooooo much more than face masks, bubble baths, and hair and nail appointments. It’s all the stuff in between too. When you have time to spare during the day and you think negatively about something, that’s where it comes in. When you wake up in the morning and automatically think “today won’t be a good day,” that’s when it comes in. When it’s your special moment and you are thinking about anyone else but yourself that is where it comes in.

Getting over a first love to better yourself and not seek revenge is excruciatingly difficult, it’s painful and it is most certainly nonlinear. There will probably relapses where you let them in, times when you only want to talk to them, and times when you even think you’ll be back together some day. Don’t do it! LOL

Love yourself by honoring the decision you made in the beginning to remove them from your life. Most of the time, if you made the decision yourself, and you loved  them as much as you did, then it was painful for you to do so. So something had to be seriously wrong, to make you think clearly enough to remove them from your life. This has been the most difficult for me. It’s been a year and some months and I’m still learning not to second guess my own decisions even though they had to be made.

People talk on social media about self love like there’s a quick fix. Like you only need a few months of it and then it all goes back to normal and you’re happy again. If you’re like me, that just won’t do.

Self love for me has been trying to rewire my brain and alter the way I think about being single, being without someone who was my best friend, and being okay with myself. Writing affirmations on sticky notes and posting them all around my room in case I need reminding that I’m amazing, and life goes on.

It’s sitting down to think about what I want to accomplish in life rather than what “he” is doing, and what I need to do to take control of my own life. My clothes have played a major role in this personal development and I’m quite proud!

It’s going out with the people that make me happy, and having good old wholesome fun. You can do all of this right from the beginning, but I don’t think it will really resonate with you until you make the conscious decision to change your ways.

It’s accepting that change is inevitable and not always good, and that whoever is supposed to be in your life at present, is. Timing is everything, I’ve seen this on multiple occasions and yet I still fought back so I could live in the past. I’m definitely still learning to deal with this bad habit but baby steps!

It’s telling yourself everyday “I love you,” in the mirror. It feels really corny and uncomfortable the first few times but you’ll start to really feel it after a while. It’s naming yourself 1st and foremost on the list of people you love whenever someone asks, and not feeling weird about it. Why not say you love yourself? Many people don’t so once you find it hold on tight.

It’s going on self dates!!!!!! They’re actually so much fun for me now, I go on walks around DC, I get myself ice cream, I dress cute for myself and not to impress anyone else. I go to the movies BY MYSELF! You read that right, me in the movies all by my lonesome and it’s so so fun. There’s no awkward arm around you, no one to talk to and interrupt the movie, which I really hate, and no one to eat all your candy. 

I’m pretty sure that’s the majority of what I’ve learned so far, my purpose is always to help those struggling with things I have struggled with. We’re in this together you guys lol don’t give up!

Being single is absolutely okay! It’s more fun than I’d like to admit and sure there are times when a girl feels lonely but they fade fairly quick because I have the best best friend ever, I also have my sister Shelbi and she makes life much easier.

~If you read down this far, Love Chelsi ❤

Slicked, Slippery and Sleek! (3 part series, here’s part 1)

 

Let me tell y’all about how I flourished in February, natural hair wise at least.  I finally attempted a sleek style and it worked!!! I went from slicked back natural hair, to a high fashion high ponytail, to an iconic tail length braid and I was living. GET INTO IT.

aisha tyler hair flip GIF-source

Like most people, I have several different textures of lovely hair and it can sometimes be difficult. The top is definitely 4c, the sides are a solid 4b/4c mixture and in the back the last 2 inches are all 3c it’s always been this way. Growing up I honestly didn’t think that sleek styles were possible for people with hair like mine, but I have seen the light! Now I’m here to deliver all my type 4 sisters to the light as well.

I washed my hair with Camille Rose Sweet Ginger Shampoo, with I like, however it dries my hair out just a bit we can’t have brittle curls. So after that I went in with the Moroccan Pear Conditioning Custard which really hydrates, moisturizes and softens my hair, it felt soooo good after I rinsed it out.

Here comes the scary part, the slicking and sleeking while slippery.. I started at the back of my head with the 3C hair and worked my way up. For each section I applied Eden’s Coconute Shea Leave In Conditioner, Cream of Nature’s Argan Oil and Eco Style’s Castor Oil and Flaxseed Gel in that order. I brushed through each section with my Denman brush and put a black scrunchy on after adding each section to the ponytail.

When I got to the front of my head, I parted my hair on the side I liked best, and continued slicking until I was completely done. The only thing I added was the Murray’s Edgewax along the part and on my edges because type 4 edges in my experience are harder to lay and this wax seems to do the trick for me.

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LOOK AT THAT 4C HAIR SHINING, POPPING, WAVING!

Black hair can do so many things, this is probably one of the coolest. I loved this style because my hair wasn’t flaky, frizzy or hard to deal with for the few days I had it in and it was nice to imagine what I’d look like with shorter hair.   IMG_1087

 

No hair in the face can sometimes be a good thing and it was a nice change for me considering all I ever do is wear long, big hair styles. This was simple and fun, plus the curl definition in the poof was very nice. ❤

That Time I was Cat Woman (kinda)

jimmy fallon hello GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon-source

Yes, it’s me, I’m back with many many things to share with you all. Let’s rewind ourselves back to January when it was still winter…OOPS ITS STILL COLD AND WINTRY so you shouldn’t have to go back too too far.

Anyways, here’s that time I was Cat Woman at the Cheesecake Factory in Maryland. I’m not sure if I had been feeling down in the dumps or not, there had been a lot of that around that time but I am better now lol. So when Nyiah (bestie /roomie/ sister) and I are bored and or hungry, which is all day everyday, we like to get cute and treat ourselves to a nice meal or two. The getting cute obviously boosts confidence and makes for an overall pleasant experience, the food is a reward for getting out of bed, leaving our darkness and putting together nice looks.

IMG_0988BAM! There it is, me serving dark Scorpio realness (see what I mean by cat woman). I bought this one piece/jumpsuit/catsuit from Fashion Nova, and I am in love with it. I feel like every woman, regardless of size or shape should own one of these at some point in her life. You can wear it with practically anything if you get it in a neutral color, and it’s super comfy!

 

IMG_0928I felt like a superSHEro wearing this, even though we only went to eat. Of course y’all know I had to get my pics because I rarely dress up for school anymore. So there I am, with my high ponytail (it’s becoming my signature style), my hoop earrings, my thigh high boots and my stretchy suit.

I’m still a bit weary of Fashion Nova’s quality, and whatnot because of a pair of jeans I received in the past year, but this is one of my favorite pieces in my closet and it wasn’t too expensive either so that’s a plus. Oh and the best part about this outfit was, after I ate, I didn’t have to unbutton my pants, or suffocate while my jeans stabbed me in my rib cage during dinner. Definitely a successful roomie date! ❤

 

 

The One Where I turned 21 !

So I’m pretty sure that every one dreams of their 21st birthdays, the way little girls dream of their sweet sixteen’s and weddings. Well my 21st birthday was nothing short of special and I owe it all to my Howard friends and my loving family.

I woke up slightly woozy from the night before that I had spent with my sister and her friends.         giphy (8)

Y’all should be old enough to know what that means by now. On November 10th at around 11:00 pm I was on cloud nine having the time of my life. I was finally about to be legal, because lets face it at 18 you still can’t do much of anything. Twenty one is supposed to be a whole different experience and I couldn’t wait!! By 12:00 I was slumped but it was okay because

I woke up with stank breath and smeared makeup but I didn’t care because it was MY BIRTHDAY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I was finally 21, grownt hunty grownt! God blessed me with another year and the celebration was nothing short of amazing. My roommate took me out to brunch before the celebration, which really ended up being first dinner because we didn’t eat until like 4:30 and then we went back to my dorm to get dolled up for my fancy night of shenanigans. giphy (10)

Now anyone that knows me, is aware of the fact that I’m not really the partying type, but dress me up and feed me at an upscale restaurant and I’m yours. I love getting fancy and going out, its much more my speed. So after my roommate and I went out for first dinner and came back, Tera (my roommate from freshman year) came over and beat my face to the gods and we got ready for second dinner.

Second dinner was held at Maggiano’s which is one of my favorites because pasta is the way to my heart and soul. The dress I picked felt like the perfect style and color for the big 21.

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Red has always been a bold statement color and I usually steer clear of it but dammit I was turning 21 and everyone was going to notice if I had anything to do with it! For one day I had stopped crying, dusted myself off, lifted my head high and I truly felt like a princess. To make things even better, all of my friends, even the ones that can’t stand to look at each other anymore. They all came together for me and it was just too cute.

Anyway, my ensemble was a step up from your basic fit. I wore a red bodycon dress that had a giant ruffle/pleat going across the top, all the way around to the back. The zipper stretched all the way from the top of the dress to the bottom which added something special to it. I wore lace-up black heels borrowed from my sister, and vintage leather jacket with a very nice fur collar from my momma. My friends even bought me a crown to wear all night because I’m just that extra of a person.

If you know me, you know that birthdays mean everything to me, from who says is first to who says it last to who I get to celebrate it with. My birthday was one of the best days of 2017 that I had. At the restaurant we laughed, at good food and I ordered my first drink IMG_0188 which was absolutely terrible. It tasted like unhappiness with a little sugar around the rim. It was a calm no from me, I’d rather have a Shirley Temple with a jar of cherries piled in… Another nice part of the night was the amount of free stuff I managed to collect by the end. A nice older man gave me $10 to pay for my first drink which was just adorable, and our waiter gave me cheesecake I didn’t order in addition to my birthday cookies. The night was a success and I loved all my friends for it!

I bet y’all thought the night was over after that, nope nope nope. We stood outside while I took pictures in my fabulous fit, freezing to death of course my friends are some real ones for that. Then we all headed back to campus to go our separate ways, or so I thought! Instead when I walked in my room I was greeted with the same smiling faces I had just seen along with a gigantic cookie cake masterpiece made by my friend Sireice, two pretty bottles of wine and a bouquet of roses. IT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER! I’ve never been the girl who gets surprised by anyone so I was ecstatic that my friends went to all the trouble to make me happy on my special day. So my 21st birthday will always be one of my best memories, not because I got deathly drunk but because my friends celebrated with me “Chelsi style” and it was perfect.

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